Thursday, January 7, 2010

Lessons I Should Have Taught My Son

I don't know how many people will read this blog.

I don't particularly care.

It's more about me talking to myself than it is me talking to you.  Consider yourself a voyeur of sorts.  I am politically incorrect, I have a dark sense of humor and outside of my professional life, I don't much give a shit what people think of me.

What I do care about is getting some thoughts down.  I don't always remember "that great idea" or profound revelation...even 10 minutes after having it, so this is the place I come when I think I might want to revisit those thoughts.

You're not going to like some of them...but a voyeur sees what he sees...

Deal with it.

I wasn't around for most of my oldest son's life.  Overseas divorce, a half crazy ex-wife...I just lost track.  So I had little say in what went into making him a man today.  Actually, I had nothing to say about what makes him a man today.

This has been the greatest failure of my life.

He's done well however.  He is an officer in the Air Force with a beautiful family and a strong career.  Most of the following he probably already knows...I just thought I'd put it out there, just to say I did it.

While it might be too late to mention, I'll tag it in just to say it was said.  Besides, he has a son that might benefit.

Don't fall for the whole Senior Prom thing.

It's simply a way to channel you into spending inordinate amounts of money on a woman...but not just the one time.  See, the senior prom is a female conspiracy.  It is to train young men that to spend 100 dollars on a sticky flower, 200 bucks on a Limo and renting a tuxedo for God knows how much is not only good, it is what men are supposed to do.

There are some things I am extremely proud of in my life...

One of them is that I've never worn a Tuxedo.

Please.  Do you know what follows the Prom?  Valentines Day, Anniversaries and "I'm-sorry-for-being-male-and-I-will-try-my-best-to-get-in-touch-with-my-feminine-side" sort of fights.  There are several other events that you won't even see coming...and of course you will be an idiot and a heathen for not doing the right thing.  She'll let you know about it...and trust will never forget that event again.

Nor will you forget the fastest route to the jewelery store and florist.  

Go ahead...take her to the Prom.  sigh...

Trouble is, the marketing media extends this fallacy.  Commercials ranging from oven cleaner to diamonds model the male character as clueless, slightly unintelligent and...uh, did I mention clueless.  We stumble and fumble through whatever machinations necessary to make her happy in that 60 seconds...but in the end she had to tell us what to do in order to do so.

That's not to say that the majority of men in relationships DO have a clue.  I'll be the first to admit I gave up even trying to act like I did.

In the end, at least for my part, it didn't matter.

Anyway son, It seems that you are happy and I am glad.  Your oldest is still a decade from his first Prom.  There is still time.

Just sayin"....

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